see below to find your number

SKIP THE INTRO AND GO RIGHT TO YOUR NUMBER TO START.  Come back to read the rest later as you wish....

This is a rather random exercise as a starting point in making life changes.  You can do this over and over again as you like, and you will likely end up making up your own, perhaps blending a number of these together, or by making up a new one on your own.  It is just a place to get things moving, and a distraction from whatever mode of being you may currently be in.  And it's something to possibly fuel your dreams to aide in making real and lasting change.

_________________________

   Good time for a change?

Some change comes upon us like a lightning strike, while other times it creeps up like the changing of the seasons.  When all is right with the world and everything is just lined up just right in life, this can be a marvelous time to seek new knowledge, make wonderful changes, or explore deeping meaning in life.  It's not only when things are a mess that it's a good time to make changes.  In fact, with some things in life we can either do the work to make the changes else have changes thrust upon us over time, or like a ton of bricks dropping down on us.  In other words, it's always a good time for a change in some way or another.  Sometimes it is the broken clock that is the easiest to fix for the problem is clear and the solution apparent.  Other times improvement upon perfection is in order and life just gets better with age.

Medical / surgical change:  Among the many things you will not find below are procedures such as Dental work, liposuction, face lifts, and other plastic surgery as good options for transformation.  These are all great ways to make physical changes, especially when used in conjunction with other behavior and even as goals, incentives, or rewards for maintaining healthy weight or habits, etc.  However, some people can make alterations and attain a new look, or whole new body, without feeling great.  There is no substitute for doing the inner work and making shifts in consciousness.  In the end, if you are happy you are happy.

_________________________

CHANGE GAME - a place to get started toward change. 

by Matthew Jesse Montez Watts, MA Transformative Art (contains some typos and bloopers...edits to come)

Letting your most trusted individual in your life who knows you better than anyone in the world do the work, shine the light, turn on the intuition, dig through your past, question your decisions and choices, see your deepest dreams, face your biggest fears, and cut through your most cherished beliefs, examine your lifestyle, review your career, and forgive your wrongs, while being the only individual actually capable of holding all these things in place as one single integral thing…you.  You know you can do this.  Even through 100 years of personal therapy, the one doing the real work in the end is you.  There is no expert here telling you what to do or what to think or how to run your life.  It’s all up to you. 

Though you are a whole and complete being part of a whole complete environment, system, planet, universe, here it is about looking at the parts, patterns, stories, events, dreams, lifestyle traits, wants and needs, etc., sometimes as though these were apart and separated from everything else.  It’s time to take time to revisit many things that are packed away or forgotten, and you may find that some big general elements you may believe are solid truths can actually be more like collections grouped together or organisms made from many interrelated cells.  For example, in a belief such as “I am shy” there may be multiple memories all lumped together while it might turn out that these are not necessarily all so much adding up to a solid and that to break up one entity might change, unravel, or break up the seemingly concrete mass, or something like this.  In other words, it could be that by singing a single simple song before a group the entire long held belief about shyness breaks down and transforms into something else.  The complex structure of your entire worldview might change in a moment. 

So many bits, parts and pieces make up your life after all and who you are.  There is your physical body, mind/spirit, lifestyle, career/work, and relationship with others, philosophy, health, and your dreams, wishes, hopes, and fears and on and on.  Looking at everything at once might be easy enough by just saying this is who you are.  Or, taking a look in detail including real and make believe elements, past, present, and future, how you see yourself versus how others see you, and perhaps the way you are in various environments in your life public and private.  All this can become quite complicated and difficult to keep a hold of without getting all jumbled up.  That is why this work is done in a more intuitive, emotional, and even seemingly random way.  It is designed to bring out those aspects of your self that may not be generally available while driving your car or doing your job or talking with friends.  This is a trick, sort of.  It is about placing all these juggling elements up in the air at the same time such that there is a somewhat new way of seeing yourself and available a new experience of who you are. 

Within this process of making a mess of your life, taking it all apart and doing an archaeological dig into your past, throwing your beliefs and moods into a spin, it is possible that you yourself may find the instinct or intuition to actually see yourself in a new way, perhaps to even re-envision who you are fundamentally in such a way that you might never be quite the same.  It’s like finding chains you did not know were there suddenly to also see that there is no real lock on them at all and that they are just held in place by your beliefs, assumptions, erroneous view of personal historical data, and other such things that you may have control over them.  It’s like magic.  The illusion only works if you don’t know how it works.  Here, you get to discover how the magic works. 

To begin, look up your chosen number and see how it fits, then come back later to scan through the topics and titles to see what draws your attention just now.  There is no need to read everything word for word, and what comes to you between the lines or strikes your attention elsewhere during this time, or the things you notice around you as you go, or very importantly where you mind wanders to while you are reading…it’s all important.  This is for you, about you, and of you.  Within the complex of all the various aspects of you are and how your life is there may be one small thing that you can change or focus on just now that pulls the thread that unravels the tapestry of it all over time.  Looking at the big picture is a good thing and this can also be a forest and the trees sort of thing.  One may not really be able to see the whole without sometimes looking at just the single individual parts and pieces sometimes.  And, along the way, you may just want to sit quietly with your eyes closed to let something sink in, or to draw upon a memory, or to just check in with yourself to see if something you think or believe or know or fear or assume is really real, or if it is just the way you carry or hold it.   This can seem to get messy, but such is life.  We are not closed systems even though at times it feels like we are all alone in The Universe. 

What you choose, if you choose, may seem random.  One item may seem useful, important, mundane, challenging, or it may feel like the wrong one.  Choosing one may lead to thoughts or feelings about something else and the path might twist and wind around with one thing leading to another.

 

Some may seem annoying, painful, spooky, attractive, fun, interesting, curious, fearful, ordinary, been there done that, or there may seem to be many that could be of use or that you feel you could look at or work on.  The process of looking down the list is just an exercise in getting going and looking around.  It will be of use or it may not.

 

Some will be quick and easy.  Some may seem like lifetime goals or things related to everyday living.  Some may be reminders or wake up calls.  Some you may just skip over maybe to notice if this means anything one way or another.  And some may feel like sore spots in your body or life or mind.   

Feel free to skip any for any reason.  And this is not a required college course or like doing your taxes.   In the process you may find focus on which direction you’d like to go for now, such as just relaxing, or getting down to work on something, or facing a big problem head on, and there just might be something discovered in the midst of your feelings or intuition.  

Cruise through all of them first, or just see if one grabs you right away.  However it works is how it works, for just now, for the moment, for today.  You can do this again and again or just once to get the ball rolling.  It’s like a game, or it’s like a gypsy fortuneteller looking for what it is you wish for right now, only it’s you looking in the crystal ball.  Here goes… 

The 86 things:  Starting points, or “cards” to pick and choose from.  Just see or feel or think or know which one to pick, or make up your own, or rewrite what’s there to suit you.  (may contain edit misses or incorrect wording...edit is ongoing)

 

Index:  See description of each below index list.

1-      Breathing

2-      Sensations

3-      Glass of water

4-      General Mood

5-      Health

6-      Psychology

7-      Medical Issues

8-      Philosophy

9-      Sleep

10-  Diet

11-  Moods

12-  Career

13-  Job

14-  Living Space

15-  Clothes and Appearance

16-  To-Do List

17-  File Cabinet

18-  Cleaning up and Clearing Out

19-  Dusting

20-  Phone Calls

21-  Checks in the Mail

22-  Ice Cream Truck

23-  Photo Album

      24- Childhood Stuff 

      25- Romance

      26- Love

      27- Relationships

      28- Sex

      29- Beliefs

      30- Education

      31- Information sources

      32- Ideas

      33- Principles

      34- Ethics

      35- Friends

      36- Family

      37- Mistakes

      38- Regrets

      39- Nightmares

      40- Dreams

      41- Passions

      42- Wishes

      43- Favorite things

      44- Shoes

      45- Blues

      46- Travel

      47- Fun

      48- Daily Routine

      49- who you think you are

      50- who others think you are

      51- who you really are

      52- Mirror

      53- Music

      54- Songs

      55- Singing

      56- Birthdays

      57- Dancing

      58- Speaking

      59- Shyness and Stage Fright

      60- Blocks and barriers

      61- Haircut

      62- Fears

      63- Posture

      64- Change

      65- Laundry

      66- Pets

      67- Objects

      68- Tools

      69- Toys

      70- Security

      71- Illusions

      72- Happiness Is

      73- sad things

      74- Places

      75- Time

      76- Resting

      77- Unknown

      78- Path

      79- Direction

      80- Lost and Found

      81- Beginning

      82- Just for now

      83- Promise

      84- Commitment

      85- Personal Responsibility

      86- Things to forget

 

The “cards” - 

 

1- Breathing:  This part of living that is so natural and automatic often goes unnoticed and sometimes one can be doing shallow breathing almost forgetting to take in lots of air.  Just simply stopping to breath can be a great break and chance to see how you are doing and what is going on.

 

2- Sensations:  Great distractions, priorities, activities, or work can sometimes mask or disguise sensations in the body or mind.  One can be too hot or too cold, or too tense or excited, or depressed or anxious and not really pay attention to it or be in control of it.

 

3- Glass of water:  Especially in modern American culture, people simply do not drink much water.  There is the daily dose of coffee, soda, juice, or drinks after work, but how often do you just take the time to enjoy a plain glass of fresh water?  Our bodies are made up of mostly water and a lack of it can cause so many problems in so many ways.   When was the last time you really enjoyed a simple glass of water?

 

4- General mood:  What’s your mood?  Sometimes it’s not what you think it is, or maybe it is hidden or invisible in some ways.  Depression can really sneak up on you, for example, and not be exactly what you intellectually believe is happening.  It’s also interesting how a mood can change in an instant for one reason or another.  Moods can be attributed to certain external events or situations and the idea that we have power and control over moods can be turned into beliefs that we need things to make us happy and without them happiness is not possible.  It is as though our moods do not belong to us.  Who or what is in charge of your mood?

 

5- Health:  So, how is your health?  That is not always an easy question to answer.  When one is eating well and exercising enough plus doing the right things to manage stress and think positively, there can still be issues that come up related to health.  Many people neglect their teeth for example, and health gums and teeth are part of the overall makeup of ones health.  It’s important to do a review now and then to just see how you are doing.

 

6- Psychology:  This is one of the most problematic areas to self assess.  Why would one wish to discover a disorder or mental illness in oneself?  In fact, part of the definition or diagnosis of many psychological issues relates to the lack of personal awareness of the elements involved or the particular behavioral patterns.  According to many statistics, more people have one kind of disorder or other to varied degrees without being diagnosed as such.  When there are serious issues in life that just never seem to change or go away, perhaps it is time to consider that there may be an underlying cause related to mental process, habit, addiction, or other factors with a real basis to be considered.  Addiction is one especially problematic element to self evaluate as it is like the water to the fish.  A check of repetitive patterns is one way to begin to assess this, in diet, drinking, smoking, behaviors, etc., including soda, junk food, or lack of activity, etc.  Looking at how you look around is a beginning here.

 

7- Medical issues:  When there are actual physical factors related to ones health, psychology, mental states, moods, energy levels, etc., it can be difficult to initiate change with thoughts or ideas alone.  Problems related to chemical imbalances, for example, may require changes in diet or the addition of vitamins or natural nutritional supplements.  This is something that one can access online by researching causes of symptoms with prescribed treatments that may be easy to find and try out.  Trouble breathing may be improved or cured with things found at a local health and vitamin store. 

 

8- Philosophy:  Just the word “philosophy” is often confused with other things more related to religion, lifestyle choices, beliefs, or principles, etc.  In this case it is more related to the reason you chose it as a possible area in which you’d like to make change or growth.  Ones values may shift and change over time as priorities are reordered or phases of life move from one to another and if you are looking at your personal philosophy this may be about formulating your core character traits, goals, focus, wishes, visions, and your relationship to others, and more.  It can be about the kind of person you are or want to be.  Looking at which philosophers you relate to most might be helpful here also.  What is it you wish to change about your way of thinking or seeing?   

 

9- Sleep:  Do you sleep soundly through the night?  Are you sure?  If you are sleepy when you should be rested this may be a clue as to what goes on during sleep, or lack of sleep.  If you are sleeping more hours than you would like to there may be simple things you can do to change this.  By examining what you eat and drink in the hours before bed, and by looking at your activity levels during the day and evening, you can do a self-check as to what may or may not affect the way you sleep.  It is so important to good physical and mental health to get good sleep.

 

10- Diet:  If there are certain foods you eat all the time this may be something to pay attention to.  America especially is the land of addiction.  What are sold as “diet” products are not always best for maintaining a good diet, and many sodas contain highly addictive sugar substitutes that may actually make you more hungry, not to mention causing you to crave more and more on a daily basis, not by choice or taste but by addictive traits in the chemicals.  Though this may seem like a simple thing to check into in ones day to day life it can also be one of the trickiest.  We want what we want when we want it, and cravings and desire can cloud reason.

 

11- Moods:  Other than the diet and medical reasons for moods, there are just too many factors to possibly list and personal experience, taste, as well as many things that can change over time are involved in one’s moods.  One interesting one I’ll mention here though is what might be called the unreasonable mood.  When you are happy or content when there are countless things to be unhappy, depressed, angry, or otherwise about.  This can be such a funny part of being human.  We have the power to adjust or transform our mood regardless of what is going on.  It’s one thing that can be easily forgotten at times.  Are you in a good mood?  How about in a long line at the Supermarket or bank?  It’s impossible to be in a good mood then, isn’t it?  What do your moods depend upon? 

 

12- Career:  Are you living your dream and doing exactly what you want to do?  Not many people are.  In fact, sometimes following a dream can end up not being what you thought it would be.  And in modern times it has become common to change jobs and careers multiple times in ones life for various reasons in and out of our control.  In a Zen way of living one might see that it’s possible to be happy no matter what you do, but in other ways the day-to-day things we do can be making us sick.  If you are questioning your career choice, or if you don’t currently have one, there may be other pieces of your life to work on that are important steps leading to what is next for you.

 

13- Job:  For many of us a job is just a job, a way of making a living and paying the bills, and we might not give much thought to what else we could be doing.  It’s possible sometimes to take a small step into doing something else by undertaking part-time occasional or even volunteer work in another area or trade to see how it feels.  And it may also be possible that a hobby or sideline might enhance ones life in such a way that your job becomes more enjoyable and fulfilling.  Just taking a break or vacation can often make a big difference.

 

14- Living Space:  Take a look around where you live.  Is it clean and organized or messy and dirty?  Sometimes those dust bunnies under the bed can add elements to the air you breath causing mild to severe symptoms that seem mysterious.  Hidden mold can be a very serious health risk, and just doing a check around, especially in older structures or places in wet climates, can be vital to your health.  Is there good light and fresh air?  Even the most marvelous and beautiful of living spaces can have hidden dangers, such as chemicals leeching from new carpeting or various glue products, etc.  Maybe it’s time to do a home check.

 

15- Clothes and appearance:  Are you wearing the same clothes everyday?  Is your hairstyle the same as when you were a teenager?  This is not necessarily a bad thing.  This is just one of the easiest areas within our control when looking at making changes in our lives.  Wearing a new hat can make one feel different.  Putting on that favorite leather jacket you usually save for special occasions just to go grocery shopping might enhance how you feel.  Shaving your head, getting a tattoo, or having a new piercing done are some more extreme appearance changes to choose from, but just wearing a different shirt or even socks can add a different element to your mood.

 

16- To-Do List:  What’s on your typical list of things to do?  Are you in rut?  Just looking at our schedule and day to day habits can allow for seeing potential ways of making changes that can add spice or alter moods or even change ones life all together.  Check your calendar to see if there are items always falling to the bottom of the list that feel important or that you seriously wish to accomplish but never seem to find the time for.  When was the last time you went to the beach to just relax and enjoy the sound of the waves?  Are you always too busy for some of the things you’d like to do?  Maybe it’s time to turn your To-Do list upside down.

 

17- File Cabinet:  First literally, what is in your file cabinet?  If you are holding onto 10 years of tax returns, or 18 months of phone bills, or even maybe piles of junk mail you never intend to look at, see if it’s time to put some of these things through the shredder.  Getting rid of old papers and paperwork can feel good.

 

18- Cleaning up and clearing out:  Clutter just seems to accumulate over time for many of us.  Over time it can become an overwhelming mountain of stuff requiring time to sort through with decisions to be made over what is garbage and what needs to be saved, what has sentimental value or is worth selling or giving away, and what is just there for no apparent reason.  There may be clothes in the closet you have not worn in years, maybe even some that no longer fits or that is so out of style that you wonder why you are hanging on to them.  If this is too daunting a task to take on all at once, perhaps just doing a little at a time will make it less painful or boring.  Start with what’s on the bottom of your sock drawer, for example, and step-by-step you may feel a new energy coming on as your life gets less cluttered and more space opens up…maybe for new stuff.

 

19- Dusting:  Mentioned under Living Space, those dust bunnies under the bed can come out to haunt you, especially if you have even mild breathing issues.  Not everyone can have a maid to come in to do all the dusting and cleaning, so it’s up to you to tackle this mundane task once in awhile, even if it’s just doing your most used areas, such as your computer desk, phone, or the dashboard of your car.  This sounds like a pretty dull thing to do, but some small elements such as letting things get too dusty may add to levels of depression or stress, and little things can add up.

 

20- Phone calls:  If your phone is ringing all the time and becoming annoying or stressful there may be ways to lessen the constant ringing.  Put a stop to sales and marketing calls by dealing with them one by one making it clear the calls are not wanted, and make them stop.  Or, you may not be getting any calls and your phone is so quiet you wonder why you even have one at all.  In that case, it might be time to sit down and see whom you havenot called in a long while.  Pick up the phone and call that long lost friend or family member.   Or call to get movie times instead of doing it online.  For some people it may actually be time to get rid of the phone altogether.  Just having a cell phone only is becoming more and more common, with the home phone line being just for your Internet connection.  So, take a look to see what your relationship is to your phone or phones.  If you are a slave to it, or annoyed by it, or bored, etc., see if a change is in order.

 

21- Checks in the mail:  There are many ways to pay bills without doing the old fashioned sitting down to write out the checks and putting them in the mail.  If this is taking up too much of your time and attention see if you can eliminate some of this effort.  Start with one bill, such your car insurance for example, and put in into direct payment out of your checking account, or pay it semi-annually or annually, and take that stress out of your life.  Even little things like this can make for a nice change.

 

22- Ice Cream Truck:  Even though most Ice Cream Trucks have that annoying high pitched chime song that is so loud and even distorted it can trigger pleasant childhood memories of hot summer days and the taste of your favorite sweet treat.  What other sounds bring back memories or make you feel good?  Are there old songs you have not heard in years that you might look up and give a listen too?  Has it been a long time since you heard live music?  Check in to see if there are things you miss that might brighten your day.

 

23- Photo Album:  If you have a collection of old photos you have not looked at for a long time it might be time to see if some of these might best be boxed up and sent to someone else to enjoy them.  Friends and family may not have some of these images, so instead of just letting them sit there you might think about giving them to your kids, if you have kids, or to a cousin, or maybe some are of neighbors.  Some may be not so fond memories and perhaps you have become less sentimental over the years.  Or, maybe it’s time to say goodbye to some aspects of your past and maybe some photos are ready to just be tossed.

 

24- Childhood Stuff:  Looking through the story of your early life, either mentally or by flipping through an actual photo album, you might recall the good and bad times including the most memorable of events.  Also take a look at what might be forgotten or hidden away in the past.  Any traumas, painful happenings, or even horrors that might be stuffed away in the dark corners of your memory somewhere.  See if there is something rationalized, put up with, purposely filed away as something never to think about, etc., that might be drawing subconscious energy or haunting your subconscious dreams.  Maybe it’s time to do a little more work on something to make it really settled and not just buried.  One example is a man I worked with who recalled that when he was six years old he saw his two year old brother struck and killed by lightening right before his eyes.  Having been so young it was difficult for him to process this or really know how to deal with it or feel it, and so it was sort of stored away out of memory, in the background.  Simply by remembering what he could of this and feeling the feelings he felt lighter somehow.  It’s not important to analyze these things too much.  If it works to let something go on a deeper level, then it works.

 

25- Romance:  One of the strangest of human phenomena I’ve seen over the years is how a person can have the briefest of contacts with another person, even just seeing someone on a train, and this haunts their dreams for the rest of their life.  It is as though we havean entirely separate life in our romantic nature and dreamscapes.  What true romance really is can be a mystery, and much of it may even be unreal or imaginary, but it is an integral part of how we see life and what we think of or feel as love.  One can examine this aspect of oneself by just looking at what images, ideas, or dreams haverecurred over time.  What are we haunted by in a romantic sense?  If this potentially may be getting in the way of a real life relationship it might be time to take a fresh look at what this is about, and what is real or unreal, useful or negative, energizing or draining, and this could possibly involve contacting someone from the past.  Or it might just be time to find new ways to be romantic in your life.

 

26- Love:  Falling in love is the classic phrase related to being in love.  What this falling thing is about may have to do with basic instincts, intuition, natural desires, or personal ideals, but it can also be a total mystery.  Some say this is a matter of work and making it happen, such that one might not fall out of love, and marriage vows often contain this element of keeping it going through promises, commitments, for better or for worse.  And so romance and passion may only be a small part of what a culture views as true love.  What one views or believes love is can be a personal matter.  Taking a look at your definition of love, in all the aspects of the word including romance, career, lifestyle, and favorite things, might give you a new perspective in making choices for the future.

 

27- Relationships:  For some people, taking a look through the history of past relationships can be as simple as just recalling the few serious relationships one has had.  For others it can be a tricky maze of misty memories of countless short and long relationships, some serious, some sexual only, some mistakes, and some just difficult to explain.  Probably the main thing to consider in this case it which ones have left over business and what regrets there may be that haunt ones dreams or leave after effects related to other relationships.  Which ones changed how you relate to others over time?  And importantly, which past relationships might be revisited in some way to ease up any leftover tension?  Sometimes a letter or phone call can clear up and clean up something that might be living in your subconscious as fact when the reality might be different.  Once upon a time I wrote to a woman I knew years ago and it turned out she had kept me in her thoughts as well, sort of as a “what might have been” thing, and by engaging in a few letters back and forth we were able to come to a new reality on this and let it go.  It’s something like cleaning out ones attic.  If there are things up there no longer needed or wanted, maybe its time to let them go.  It’s interesting that sometimes someone can sort of have one foot out the door in a relationship without realizing it, with the partner knowing or feeling it, and by clearing out or cleaning up some lingering unfinished business, this energy can become free to add to the partnership mix.

 

28- Sex:  Back in the 70’s when Werner Erhard came to the subject of sex I remember thinking that it was going to be along and complicated talk.  But instead all he said on the topic was something like, “When you’re hot you’re hot, and when you’re not you’re not”, and then he moved on.  Of course there were other talks related to sexuality, love, relationship, integrity, etc., but on the topic of sex it seemed just to be that simple.  You are either attracted to someone or you are not.  In modern times with pills for men to artificially become aroused this may be blurred and confusing, but it also may allow for greater activity into older age relationship.  It seems though that it might mask the natural attraction factor in some cases and one might not know for sure if it’s real or chemical.  In general, I’ll just leave this topic with this brief statement:  If you are happy in the area of sex then you are happy, and if you are not then it may be time to work on this area and there are some good courses and workshops such as those provided by The Human Awareness Institute.

 

29- Beliefs: This category may be as simple as stating ones religion or philosophy, or it can be a broad and mysterious part of life nearly or completely invisible as with an addiction or habitual behavior.  Beliefs are so often blended in with personal view of reality.  In this case, it might be time to review whether you are comfortable in your beliefs or in crisis, or if perhaps it is time to take a look behind the curtain to see if there is a wizard pulling levers and pushing buttons you may have become unaware of in your life.  Over the years I have encountered so many individuals unaware that they were immersed in a belief system clouding over their views of reality and the universe.  Whether religious genesis or scientific big bang theory, belief that the entire cosmos began as a primordial seed in nothingness makes so much sense to so many people, even though it has no basis in reality at all.  Is it time to reassess your beliefs or notions of reality in general?  It really cannot hurt to take a look.  Belief systems have a way of bouncing back from investigative jostling, and if they become broken or disrupted, the alternatives can bring great joy and renewed zest for thinking and creative musings.

 

30- Education: Education is about more than just where you went to school or what grades you earned.  One can be wise without a PhD, and enlightened without having lived on a mountaintop for years.  If there is a limited area in which you study or learn, such as related to a particular religion, political party, or singular point of view, this might be a good time to take a look at this part of your life.  If there is an area of learning you have avoided perhaps it could not hurt to think about why this is.  Your perception of yourself as educated or uneducated is a big part of this.  Do you feel learned or ignorant? 

 

31- Information sources:  Related to education, is there a limitation to where you get your news and information or view of world events?  Have you avoided European or Asian points of view, for example?  Is it time to broaden what you see or read?

 

32- Ideas:  What’s the big idea?  Have you ever tried to remember something, such as a name or a movie or where you put something, but could just not recall it, but then when you put your mind to something else it popped up on it’s own?  Consciousness is much more complex than just the current stuff on ones mind in the moment.  Ideas can be swimming around having great effects on ones entire life, self concept, and ability to function without this being known in a typical sense of knowing.  What ideas exist for you that may be causing limitations in your life?  Are you starved for new ideas, especially related to a particular life crisis, goal, or desire?  Sometimes taking ones mind off the task at hand or taking a break from working on an issue can be just the ticket to working it out.

 

33- Principles:  What are your personal rules, laws, and guidelines for living?  Is it easy to accept the public and cultural laws, or do you rage against the machine or defy conventional regulations?  If there is a private and individual set of life principles you follow maybe its time to check them out to see if any adjustments are needed.  Especially if you are feeling someone is doing you wrong or behaving badly, are they acting differently than you, or is there perhaps a double standard at work?  If your principles have shifted or changed over the years, or if circumstances are causing you to rethink or abandon them, maybe it’s a good time to consider what really matters to you in terms of life rules or ways of living.  And if you have moved outside your old rules of life, even for what seem to be good reasons, maybe it is appropriate now to take a look at this.

 

34- Ethics:  Related to principles, your concept of right and wrong may have shifted or changed over time or with extreme circumstances, such as a homeless person I recently spoke with who had taken to occasional stealing food and breaking laws as to where he slept.  When is it a good time to ignore ones sense of ethics?  It can be interesting when one complains about not being treated ethically if ones own ethics are not intact.  Look up the definition of ethics and give this some thought if you’ve chosen this element.

 

35- Friends:  Since the invention of Facebook, it has become fairly common to hear of people speaking of having hundreds or even thousands of friends.  True friendship however is another matter.  Having someone who knows all about you, that you can say anything to, and who understands you very well is still a most rare thing for most people.  If you do not havesomeone close to you who knows you in a very personal and intimate way, maybe it’s time to take a look at what you consider a friend to be.  There is nothing wrong with knowing many people in ways that are fun, supportive, work or sports related, or part of your career, but if there are hard times when you feel all alone with nobody to call upon, maybe it’s time to check out how you feel about this area of your life.  Maybe it’s time to join a club or to call an old friend to reconnect.

 

36- Family:  There is such a wide range of experience related to the individual and family.  For some this may be a source of joyful stories of wonderful and supportive relationships, beautiful Holiday times, great family vacations and trips, and deep love and affection.  For others it can be an element of pain and suffering, or a total blank space with no family ties at all.  Sometimes it is appropriate or healthy to revisit family ties to perhaps make amends or reconnect, but also there can be total disconnects that are good to leave alone.  Toxic or unhealthy family matters can be a constant source of illness, depression, or worse for those unwilling or unable to cut these ties.   Whatever your relationship is to your family, if it’s time to take a look at this now you may wish to find support.   Years passing by can make a bad situation worse, or time can heal wounds.  And it is also true at times that one may be keeping a perception of a situation alive by not questioning it or checking it out.  This may or may not be an easy one for you.  If it is it is and if it is not it is not. 

 

37- Mistakes:  Some say there are no mistakes in life and that it’s all just part of life and how it is meant to be, or something like that.  This may or may not be true, depending upon the situation.  In hard economic times I hear some people taking about buying or selling a house at the wrong time causing them to lose money, or about stock market decisions that went wrong, etc.  When one does something later seen as an error or mistake there are either things that can be done about this or not.  Even though it may be difficult to forgive oneself for making a mistake, once it is done it is done.  It can become a good life lesson, a story to tell, or a source of depression or self-doubt.  If you learn from a mistake then it was not all a bad thing, maybe.  Maybe it’s time to just look through your life to see what lives as a mistake.

 

38- Regrets:  Continued from mistakes in part, regrets can haunt a person for the rest of their life, if not worked out somehow and if there is not some sense of self forgiveness and understanding.   Some people regret leaving a relationship or job or house, and some regret going to school or not going to school, and yet others just have a nagging fill in the blank regret that they did not do a good job at life in general.  

 

39- Nightmares:  Most of these I do not remember so I am not aware of their content or level of fear that maybe accompanies them.  It is part of my subconscious dream life with little or no access in my day-to-day thoughts or feelings.  If there are patterns or mysterious notions creeping around your life however, perhaps related to a particular circumstance, person, or thing, there may be a connection to your dream life involved. There are some techniques for remembering dreams that you might try, such as waking up early with a notepad next to your bed, or by making a conscious decision before sleep to remember your dream.  In any case, nightmares or subconscious dream scenarios can have real effects in waking life, and they may even skew or color perceptions related to circumstances without having real bearing upon them.  In other words, if you find yourself dreading things that turn out fine there may be some dream elements causing fearful feelings or doubtful preconceptions.   See if you may be engaged in unwanted dreams, or at least consider if this might be behind some aspect of your life you are working on.

 

40- Dreams:  As a boy I would dream of flying.  These dreams were very vivid and detailed with clear views of flying over my house and backyard, and even up between the telephone wires running along my street.  Why these were limited to such a specific local area I do not know, but they were very safe dreams about what I knew close to where I was sleeping.  Later on in life I was able to have much bigger dreams, but most often my dreams are of things I wish to relive since they were wonderful, and sometimes I work out problems in my dreams, and on a regular basis I design course elements and talks in my dreams.  What do you dream about day and night?  What are your dreams made of?  If there are things you are saying you wish to have or do or be, and they are not in your dreams, maybe it’s time to either adjust your dream life, or time to wish for what is really in your dreams.  See the song, “When You Wish Upon A Star” and think about your dreams and what they mean or what part of your life they relate to.

 

41- Passions:  Perhaps directly related to dreams, what you are truly passionate about is just there or it is not.  Finding your bliss, or passion in life should not be a lot of work.  It is usually natural and a process of just noticing what is there in your deepest emotional attractions and feelings.  If you once had passion for someone or something and this seems to be gone, it may just be a matter of refreshing or revitalizing.  Or maybe it’s time to check into what your wildest dreams are made of.

 

42- Wishes:  There are simple mental acts of making declarations about something you would like to have, do, or be, etc., constituting a wish one makes.  There can also be disconnects between wishes, hopes, dreams, and what one really and truly desires, wants, needs, or really wishes for.  Do you really wish for a billion dollars?  Or is there something else related to your perception of being wealthy that is your true wish?  I had the very fun opportunity of working as a background extra on the film “Bedazzled” about making wishes, and about having those not quite work out right.  This was a great time to examine what it was I was really wishing for in my life.   Most of the time in my working life, and in my relationships, and in life in general, I would let things play out according to what others did or decided or chose, while I just sat back and waited letting things just happen to me out of my control.  It is one thing to make a wish, and quite another to do everything one can in life to make something desired happen.  If you have a big wish in life, what are you doing about it? 

 

43- Favorite things:  What are a few of your favorite things?  Do you eat and drink your favorite things, or are they just habits you keep for having no better thing to do?  Are you unconscious about how you dress or what you do day-to-day?  If you have a favorite jacket, or restaurant, or television show, or song, maybe it’s time to see if these are just familiar habitual things, or really favorite things.  Maybe it’s time to shake things up.  Or maybe it’s time to have more of your favorite things around.  If you are saving something, like a favorite coat or special fancy dinnerware, for special occasions, it could be time to make a special occasion today.

 

44- Shoes:  Some people pay great attention to what shoes they are wearing, while others just wear the same old shoes day after day until they wear a hole in the sole.  Whether or not you have a closet full of shoes from which you chose the proper shoes for the proper occasion, or just one tried and true pair you wear every day, it might be time for a change, either by getting a new pair of shoes, or by cleaning out the collection giving away those old shoes you never wear, or those uncomfortable ones you where just because they look good.  This is one of my most simple and mundane elements in the whole bunch, but it can make such a big difference if you are feeling great with a bounce in your step with your feet supported and protected.  And, wearing a pair of red shoes might change your whole outlook on the day.  In any case, just think about your feet and your shoes if you are reading this one and just see if there is anything to do about it.

 

45- Blues: Have you ever felt blue even when things are going great?  Sometimes there are physiological factors at work when we feel low or depressed and it can be healthy to indulge such a thing and to even have a good cry in the process.  One may of course feel down or blue for good reasons, and this may be in grief or loss related to others and not only oneself.  But a “good cry” can be one when happy as well as when things are bad.  Winning millions of dollars in a lottery, some people might cry right out loud while being elated beyond belief.  When is it a good time to sing the blues?  The answer may simply be whenever it comes.  If you have not had a good cry in years, or if you just avoid feeling in a dark or seemingly negative mood, maybe it’s a good time to take a blues break.

 

46- Travel:  Get away from it all.  This can mean just going across town to someplace new, or buying a ticket to a faraway destination.  There is something special about going someplace new.  If you have not traveled much, or if you are dreaming of going someplace, maybe it’s time to pack a bag and go.  If your life situation is such that this will just not work out just now, there are things you can do that might provide some of that travel magic and romance.  Update your Passport, visit some websites about a dream destination, check out your luggage and maybe even leave a suitcase out in the hall just as a dream thing, and maybe plan a special meal date at a local restaurant featuring some of the flavor of that place.  You might want to hang a photo or two of the place near your computer desk or even in your bathroom where you will see it often.  It might not be time to head for the airport just now, but you can dream can’t you?

 

47- Fun:  This element can be so tricky.  One might have a marvelous fun time right in your own kitchen while being down and miserable in the middle of a gorgeous travel destination, or the other way around.  As Buckaroo Bonsai said in the movie of the same name, “Remember; No matter where you go…there you are.”  If you are lacking some fun in your life, maybe start small with a song on the radio, or do a little dance around your space as you get ready to go out, or smile even though you don’t feel a reason to fake it ‘til you make it as they say.  Fun can be had or made or imagined or out of the blue.  Even if things seem dark and depressing just now, check and see if it is possible to find even a little funin some way.  For example, instead of just having a sandwich in front of the TV put a nice place setting out with your best dish and fancy placemat with a candle and nice music.  Treat yourself special even if you don’t feel it at first, as an experiment, and see how you feel.  It might even be fun to toss a nice glass into your fireplace, or out onto the patio, or against a tree.  Whatever sounds fun, maybe give it a try.

 

48- Daily Routine:  Having a regular routine is not a bad thing, especially if it works for you.  Getting up at the same time and having the same thing to eat and drink may be effective ways of maintaining balance physically and mentally.  Once in awhile though it might be good to shake things up a little, and if you are looking toward making some changes this could be a good place to start.  Even changing the clock by a few minutes might be an interesting experiment.  Having tea instead of coffee might shake things up a little.  If you are in the process of making needed or wanted changes, taking a minute to look at what you do day to day can be a good start.

 

49- Who you think you are? - Are you someone with a problem?  Are you a person in trouble who needs to find solutions or make immediate changes?  Is this about who you are as a person or more about your situation, circumstances, and the chain of events you are dealing with?  What do you identify with related to your self-definition and self-view?  See if you are mixing things and events in with who you are as a person.

 

50- Who others think you are:  If you receive performance reviews in your job or career this might be an easy place to start with this one.  What do they say about you as a person?  Are you a good neighbor, great parent, quiet person, or average individual?  What terms do others use when referring to you?  Is this an area of your life you are happy with, or are there changes you wish would occur?  If you do not really feel seen or understood then this might be an area in which to make some changes. 

 

51- Who you really are:  This may not be one to think about oddly enough.  Who you are in meditation or in your dreams or when nobody is looking or in an emergency…these may all be part of who you “really are” aside from imagination, impression, opinion, or wishful thinking.  As part of this course we make an effort to provide a buffer zone of time and experience such that you are able to quiet the day to day routines, knee jerk reactions, habitual behaviors, and social rules so that there is more of a natural and relaxed space in which to just feel your feelings and be who you really are, or something like this.  If you are in crisis or emergency this may not be quite so easy a thing to do, or not do.  In any case, just getting away from the normal routine can provide a breath of fresh air and the opportunity to take the time to just be more relaxed and natural.

 

52- Mirror: Sitting in a circle of people you can look around and see who is there.  The only one missing in view is you.  Of course you can see your hands and legs, etc., and you might pick up a mirror to see your face among all the other faces, but this may not be the best way to see yourself in the context of the group.  Looking at the others looking may be a sort of mirror of your self.  For me personally I do not like to see photos or videos of myself teaching or singing, and I do not like to hear recordings of my voice.  My mirror of preference rests in other people and their comments and compliments, or critical views or evaluations.  If someone tells me a song I sung was wonderful, then this is what I accept as my evidence of how it went.  My own inner critic is so much harsher than anyone else might be in so many cases, and if I just went by an actual mirror I might just avoid teaching or speaking all together.  How I am seen is often more important than how I see myself.

 

53- Music:  If there is a kind of music you find relaxing or healing then maybe it’s time to listen to some.  For some people their day-to-day routines are filled with sounds in the office, on the train, walking along the street, in the grocery store, barking dogs, crying children, phones ringing, or a television in the background.  Making a nice change can be as simple as putting on some nice music.  If you play an instrument but just have not found the time for awhile, maybe get it out and play around a little while you are mulling over these topics.  And, some of the most important music is that which we hear in our minds or dreams.  What is the soundtrack of your life?  Has it gotten a little dark or moody lately?  Maybe it’s time to recall your favorite song, or to find a new one.

 

54- Songs:  “They’re playing our song” is a romance story line in so many movies. If you have a favorite special song this element is just about taking a look at that part of your life.  It’s sometimes funny to me that I’vehad the same favorite song since I was teenaged, yet I’ve never owned a copy of it.  Not on vinyl record or cassette tape or CD or at all, I’ve just not felt a need to hear it on my command.  I leaveit for special times or on the rare occasion I find it online.  “Cast Your Fate To The Wind”, by the Vince Guaraldi Trio, 1963, remains my favorite song.  This may relate to the time and mood in which I first heard it, or to the philosophy or notions related to the title, or to the shifts in tempo within the song from jazzy to smooth and quiet.  I’m not sure what this says about me, but it has been one consistent thing over the years even though my life has had so many shifts and changes and ups and downs.  My feeling that this is my favorite song seems to mean something special to me.  What is your favorite song, or songs?  Does it change over time, or is there one special song you love?  Does it say anything about who you are, and is it something you want to look at during times of change or crisis? 

 

55- Singing:  If you love to sing, maybe in the shower or in the car, but you just have not sung a song in a long time, or if you are a professional singing doing it for a living, maybe it’s time to just cut loose and belt out a tune as though nobody was listening.  It can be such a free feeling to sing, even if off key along with a song on the radio.  Even singing softly as you walk or drive along feeling the emotions in a tune can change your whole mood.  This element can hold an extreme version of the public speaking anxiety experience and sometimes people very comfortable with talking in public can feel quite uncomfortable about singing.  One participant in one of my first Art Aloud type courses had a wish to just feel more comfortable and more himself when singing Happy Birthday to his own son in front of his family.  It’s such a simple song, but when confronted with feelings of self-consciousness, or perhaps family members who make a big fuss over such a thing, it can just be a time of great embarrassment.   It might not be just about singing in itself but about how others react or their critical notions about it.  This is something for individual work over time, but part of it might be something as silly sounding as singing Happy Birthday in the car on the way home.  Even professional singers will not just jump into song cold.  Warming up and practicing can be a key part of the effort, and there is no reason one should not warm up for singing Happy Birthday at a party.  That could make all the difference.

 

56- Birthdays:  For some people birthdays are very special times like Holidays.  Other people are not very sentimental about birthdays and may even just work right through them without noticing much difference over any other day.  Thinking back over all your birthdays, which ones stand out as great, or not so great?  Do you have birthday traditions?  If this is not a big element in your life then it is not, but if there are hauntings in your past about birthdays gone wrong, or if you have long held traditions that may be good to review and possibly change, then perhaps it’s worth spending a little time considering how your birthdays have been in the past and how they might be in the future.  And if age is getting you down maybe you are placing too much emphasis upon that number.   Also, it might be that there are special things you’ve only done or experienced on a birthday that you could consider doing now, as an un-birthday gift to yourself. 

 

57- Dancing:  This was covered a bit under “fun” and perhaps elsewhere (as these are beginning to blend together just a bit as I go) as something to add into the mix of your life to spice things up, change things a little, or to just add an extra element of fun.  Dancing can be just a little moving around as you drive along listening to a song you like, or it can be a subtle addition to your walk as you strut along in the park, or you can full out dance around the house, or even in public if you are feeling wildish.  You might engage a friend or friends in dancing just for no reason, or of course you can actually go out dancing.  Exercising at the gym may also offer an opportunity for dancing, or feeling like you are dancing.  In any case, if it’s been some time since you have danced consider this element in making some change right now.

 

58- Speaking: (covered in Art Aloud) An element different for so many people, speaking can be either easy or second nature or very difficult and for some even a terror.  If change is desired in this area take extra time going through the Art Aloud section.  Making changes in this area can be problematic or simple and easy.  It all depends upon your desires and needs.  

 

59- Shyness and Stage Fright:  (see Art Aloud) If fear of speaking has kept you from being active in public and if it has effected the course of your life, then it’s time to take a close look at your relationship not only to speaking but to how you are around others or just being in public all together.  Did this part of your nature have much to do with your choice of relationship, career, social life, etc.?  Are you shy?  Are you sure?  If you feel that being shy or having strong emotional and or physical reactions before speaking before people then take some time to go through the Art Aloud information and articles to see what changes you might begin to work toward.  It may not be as difficult as you think.

 

60- Blocks and barriers:  This one may be a tough element.  If one has a mental block related to something one wishes to change it may not be readily apparent just by thinking it over.  Deep seeded causes of things acting as barriers toward particular activities or abilities may be hidden underneath belief systems or ideas living as facts in ones life.  To make it a little simpler, just see if there are things in your life, like goals, hopes, dreams and plans that never seem to get going.  Then see what reasons or rationalizations you may have, including excuses and stories about why something cannot be done, and examine whether these things are real or imagined, in part or all together.  Some such items end up being life choices and some are circumstances that could be changed, but only with a sacrifice one is not willing to make, etc.  Check to see if you are confusing problems with choices here.  And really consider your serious desires compared to light dreams or someday ideas.

 

61- Haircut:  Have you ever known someone who kept the same hairstyle or beard for years or even decades?  For some it’s a matter of preference, especially if they have changed their cut or style from time to time coming back to what they like.  But for others there can be an element of hiding or even fear.  Fear of changing ones hairstyle or “look” can be a very serious limitation in ones life.  If you have kept the same style since you were a kid maybe its time to consider a change.  In my case, I had tried different styles of haircuts over the years and I’d grown a beard a few times and even tried just a mustache, but never in my entire life had I ever gotten a buzz cut.  I actually had a fear that my head was crooked or lumpy so I avoided ever having my hair cut short, not to mention getting it clipped in a buzz cut, even as a boy when most all other boys in my neighborhood were sporting crew cuts.  Then one time when I let my barber try coloring my hair to take out the gray, and it turned out awfully, I decided just to go get a buzz instead of having the color corrected.  I was amazed at how much energy it took me to work up the courage to do this.  My fear was quite intense on the way to the barber and I actually turned back once or twice.  After it was done though, and after I could see that my head had a nice normal shape, it felt great.  It was quite the liberating feeling, not only because the cut felt great but also because I finally got past this fear.  So, if you have any hair issues maybe it’s time to think about doing something bold and crazy, maybe even like having your head shaved…or not.  You’ll just know by how reading this felt as to whether it could be a big deal or not.

 

62- Fears: A good healthy dose of fear can save ones life, but irrational or unreasonable fear can just get in the way or become something that haunts ones dreams or spoils the party.  There are different levels or qualities of fear as well from having a dislike of spiders to that being an all out physically crippling phobia.  If the word fear brings to mind a particular thing or part of your life then it may be a good idea to do some exploration in this area, especially if this relates to part of your life you wish to change.  If you’d like to move away and start a whole new life, but you are afraid of major change, this represents quite a dilemma.  You’ll need to work on one thing to get to the other.

 

63- Posture:  Slumping over or walking with a slouch can be something that just creeps up on one over time or through laziness, injury, or even as a way of looking shorter if you feel abnormally tall among your peers when you are young.  You may notice this issue in others while being oblivious to this aspect of your own behavior.  If you know you sit up straight and this is not an issue, it could be that you are over compensating by being a little too rigid or forced.  Though this does not sound like a problem, you may have seen someone walking down the street in a seemingly exaggerated posture which may have caused you to wonder why they were being so perfect or fomal.  Find a place where you can see yourself in a mirror as you sit in a chair, reading or watching television, etc., or where you can see yourself walking by as you normally walk.  This is an easy way to do a quick check of your posture or seated body language.  When I was a teenager I remember some people commenting on what good posture I had and how straight up I sat.  Over time however I let this go quite a bit and I ended up with a bit of a more slouching informal and slightly sloppy posture.  It took a little Yoga and some self-conscious effort to work on this a bit.

 

64- Change: What is your relationship to change in your life?  Have you gone through many changes moving around and shifting jobs and relationships often, or is change something you have avoided over the years?  Whatever the case may be, this may be a very important element when it comes to making any kind of change in your life.  Change can be welcome and fun or nerve wracking and a cause for great anxiety.   When it’s time for a change how do you feel about it?

 

65- Laundry: Few people take great joy in doing their laundry.  Most often it is just a necessary chore that is part of day-to-day life difficult to avoid, unless one has the means or situation in which to have someone else do it.  I actually met a woman years ago that owned an incredible amount of clothing expressly for avoiding doing laundry.  When she did have to do it this was by the barrel full, literally, but she put it off as long as possible to avoid having it be a weekly part of her life.  For this item just notice your relationship to your clothing, whether you neatly pair up and fold your socks or just dump them in a drawer, or if you change your sheets weekly or yearly.  Are the mundane chores of life a burden you do not enjoy at all, or do you accept these things, like doing laundry, and maybe even find them relaxing, or at least not horrible?  Check your closets and dresser drawers.  Have you kept many items of clothing that you never wear?  Is your sock drawer jammed full even though you only wear the ones in the relatively thin top layer?  Maybe it’s time to rethink your relationship with laundry.  Buying more socks or underwear and doing laundry less often might take a small about of work and strain out of your life.  Making room for new clothes might feel freeing and like a breath of fresh air.  And donating some of your old unused items might also benefit others in your area and make you feel good about making this change in your life as well.

 

66- Pets: Having a pet can add years to your life, so many studies claim. Pet ownership may also place certain limitations upon life or lifestyle changes one may wish to make, such as where one lives and whom one lives with.  I’ve personally known someone who gave up her pets because she suddenly found herself in a wonderful relationship that included staying away from home often, traveling, and eventual pet neglect.  The decision was not an easy one, but the choice ended up quite clear.  Either stay home and take care of the animals or get out and about with the new love of her life.  So, if you have a pet or pets and there are changes coming up in your future you may have some tough decisions to make.

 

67- Objects:  In my younger years I considered myself what some call a “pack rat”.  Every wall was cluttered with art and objects, even the ceiling in my first cottage, and there were shelves full of odds and ends and boxes of junk and I was just a collector of whatever I thought was interesting.  Later on I did actually become a part-time antique seller, and I restored some antiques for sale as well, but for the most part I just enjoy keeping special objects around.  Over the years I let most of the stuff go little by little limiting most of the clutter to just a few shelves and a curio cabinet, or shrine of favorite objects.  As with pets and the responsibility that goes along with them, having many tons of objects in your possession may pose some interesting challenges if you are considering making a change especially if it includes living in a simpler way or extensive traveling.  Some people get rid of much of their stuff, some just pack everything into a rental storage locker or garage, and others just get a bigger space, and maybe even open up shop.  Stuff can become part of your livelihood or business, or it may become a burden or junkyard.  What is your relationship to your stuff?  Is it time to clean up or to get a business license? 

 

68- Tools: This exercise is a tool.  Tools are not only hammers and saws; there are tools we use for making changes, for gaining knowledge, and for making art, etc.  Do you have the tools you need to make the change you are after?  With the incredibly diverse realm of The Worldwide Web one can now simply keyword in almost any thought or idea to find many sites full of information, instructions, stories, and tools for living.  Also, if you are lacking in the regular workshop type of tools struggling with simple projects never able to find the right screwdriver or a hammer, then it’s time to get organized and buy a new toolbox.  Once you gather up your collection of tools to take inventory you can then purchase the ones that are missing to be better prepared for that next home project.  And you may even use an online tutorial as a tool to help you make some changes around your living space, or to take a dent out of your car, or to repair some clothing you are not ready to get rid of, and so on and so forth.  Sometimes making a change is partly about finding the right tools for the job.

 

69- Toys:  Some adults believe they are too old for toys.  Not only real pets add to ones life, but also a nice furry Teddy Bear can brighten up the life of an elderly person as well as a child.  One does not need to have children in order to play with toys.  Even something on the dashboard of your car, like a toy frog for example, can add just a small spark of joy to your day-to-day life.  When is the last time you got a toy just for yourself just for fun?  Also, part of this element may be about having too many toys or perhaps facing a time to get rid of some old childhood things.  The adult with a bed covered with stuffed animals might be placing some limitations upon the way others see them, and they might be keeping themselves a bit locked in the past.  Whatever your relationship is with toys take a look related to what changes you are contemplating to see if there is an issue here one way or another.

 

70- Security: Do you feel safe?  Not long ago I was speaking with a young woman who shared a story about hearing yelling and violence through her apartment wall one night as someone was being beaten nearly to death in some kind of drug deal gone bad.  She said she was afraid to call the police as these people might just take some action against her later on and she would not feel safe in calling for help, even if the man being beaten was going to be killed.  That is very sad indeed, but part of life for so many people, especially in a poor economy when so many have to find whatever kind of living situation they can afford and make do with it.  If you do not feel safe where you are if it definitely a good thing to consider what changes you can make.  If you do not feel secure in your job, or in your relationship, or if your health is threatening to place limitations upon your lifestyle or even end your life, it’s time to take action now.  Some alternatives may be difficult to see from where you are so it is important to reach out to let others know what is going on.  In tough times it’s good for people to get together to support one another.  If you do not feel safe it may also be related to other matters or thoughts unrelated to your physical environment.  In any case, take a look at your feelings of safety to see what might be done one way or another.

 

71- Illusions: What is real and what is illusion?  The great magicians created such real looking illusions that it was impossible for most people to figure out how it was done.  For the purposes of this exercise though it is just a matter of taking some time related to changes you wish to make, or need to make, in your life to see what elements, ingredients, or barriers, etc., are real and which may be more like illusions.  One online dictionary defines illusion as – “An erroneous perception of reality. An erroneous concept or belief. The condition of being deceived by a false perception or belief”.  In some cases it is important to do a reality check on a situation to see if what you believe is true.  One example is about paying a bill.  You might believe that “oh, I just cannot pay this bill”, but when you call the company or service owed the money you are suddenly able to work out new payment terms making it possible to keep your commitment.  Sometimes there are simple ways to do a reality check.  Other times it may be a matter of getting away from the problem for a new perspective to see what is real and what false notions, emotions, or beliefs may skew reality.  This can be a tough one to look at as the very definition of illusion means it is hard or even impossible to see. 

 

72- Happiness Is:  When you are happy you are happy.  Sometimes people ask me just what am I so happy about?  And sometimes I honestly have to say I do not know.  Some days I am just happy.  Even when things are not good there can be moments in the sun or times when things feel ok.  When there is real impending doom around the corner, like a job that is about to be downsized or something else critical to living day to day, does this mean I must think about it every minute or be sad all the time?  Why not enjoy sitting in a park or petting the dog or talking to a good old friend.  My Grandmother used to say something about the illogical of being too worried about something that has not happened yet.  And so often this has made great sense in my life in times when I spend hours anxious about something that never actually happened in the long run.  So, check and see how happy you may be right now in your life.  Often this element is a key part or ingredient in changes someone wishes to make and there can be an illusion that one cannot be happy unless one makes a change or gains something else or goes to a new place.  Is this true?

 

73- Sad things:  “What's too painful to remember, we simply choose to forget” is a line from the film “The Way We Were”.  Forgetting bad times and traumatic experiences as well as sad times may be a very healthy thing to do, but sometimes this may leave unfinished business, uncured tears, or wounds that remain.  Some sad things are just what they are, sad things that happens in ones life.  Other times they are signs of something undone or avoided in life.  For example, one might be sad that you never got that pony as a child (silly example but it has happened) without ever looking at what might be done to sort of sooth that memory or finish that dream, or whatever.  Would going for a horseback ride at the beach make up for never having a horse as a child?  Probably not, but it might be a fun thing to do.  In this element you of course will have to examine your own memories to see what sad things may be there to then see if you’d like to revisit them, let them go, do something about them, or just have a good cry to let it out.  Being sad or having the blues is not a bad thing.

74- Places:  Where is your special place?  When is the last time you went there?  I know people who live just minutes from their favorite place only going there a few times a year.  Others walk along their favorite trail along the ocean several times a week, or even daily sometimes.  A special place may exist in your mind or dreams as well.  Even when this is just right inside your dreams and available anytime there can be barriers or blocks or distractions keeping you from going there.  Especially in the midst of making big changes, whether wanted of forced upon you, it can be easy to forget to go to your special place.  It may seem unavailable or many millions of miles away.  In some cases when you may feel lost and far away this can also be the most critical time to visit your favorite place.  This may even be a room in your own house, a workshop in the basement, or a shelf in a curio cabinet where you keep your most precious and memorable things.  When is the last time you went for a visit?  This may seem simple and silly, but even a short ten minute visit to that special Zen Tea Garden to sit by a waterfall can institute a change of mind or heart that perhaps may sustain your heart through a storm, or something like this.  Even if it seems like a waste of time or counter productive to your most serious and critical aims, just maybe go to your favorite place just to go there.  Then see what happens.

 

75- Time: This is a very relativeelement.  In some courses the homework assignment or suggested readings may include two complete books and a number of forms to fill out with other work to complete before attending the workshop.  This may either seem like welcome effort toward accomplishing a goal in life, or it might seem like a tedious and endless task of never ending effort.  For the purpose of a short course, such as a weekend Art Aloud or Inner Course, there are only very brief assignments, a survey, and short newspaper articles to read as optional pre-course information.  For someone new to this sort of course it may seem like so much work and time, but compared to a college class for credit it is really more like a walk in the park.  It’s a matter of perspective.  Do you have enough time?  Are you rushed feeling like life is just flashing by, or are you bored as though each day is just so long dragging out forever?  It’s funny that sometimes when one is very busy it is easy to add on one or two more things to do, but when things are quiet and boring even a simple added task can seem like such a monstrous burden.  The first portion of each course is intended in part to act as a buffer zone between what your relationship with time has been and how things go during the course.  This is a big reason why they are held in very special places with hot springs and natural beauty.  Altering ones sense of time is part of what makes making changes bloom.

 

76- Resting:  Sometimes there is just no time to rest.  The mind can become filled with thoughts and problems even haunting dreams never allowing the body to fully rest.  Also there can be an opposite effect if someone is always at rest in some ways.  It can be a problem to sort of “light a fire under” the person to get them up and out and motivated to take charge and actively create new and exciting opportunities.  Of course there may also just be a need to take a rest from one part of life even if one lives at the beach.  If you walk on the beach every day doing Yoga and meditation perhaps it’s time to visit the big City to feel the energy of thousands of hustling bustling people going every which way.  Maybe attend an opera or ballet.  Taking a rest can mean so many different things to different people and it is such a relative term like time.  If you have been a couch potato for too long maybe it’s time to get up and get moving, giving that sofa a rest, or if you have been constantly on the movemulti tasking day after day it could be a good time to give your phone and computer a rest possibly staying a day or two in the woods completely out of contact.  Do you need a rest?

 

77- Unknown:  To paraphrase an old seminar slogan used in ‘est’ back in the early 80’s: “What if there is something you don’t know, the knowing of which could change the quality of your entire life?”  That is a bit of a tricky comment designed to get someone to sign up for a course without any particular reason or need mainly aimed at those who had already done every seminar and course there was to do.  This can be an element in just about everything else on this list.  Among the things we think we know or remember may lie other things unknown.  And of course this easily refers to everything in general, including life and the universe, gravity and light, and how the mind and consciousness really works, and on and on.  For the purpose of this course and finding needed and wanted change it is important to just consider that some things remain unknown and others misunderstood.  Being open to not knowing can lead to so many wondrous new ideas and thoughts.

 

78- Path:  You may not be going exactly where you think you are.  Ones chosen path in life is either paved and smooth or rough and winding, but the plain truth is that not everything can be easily predictable in life.  This is either the good news or the bad.  The Yin and The Yang of life may exist as separate from our perception of them as good or bad.  One of my favorite words is “bliss” and I consider this to include the light side as well as the dark side of life.  It’s just about being alive, fully.  One online definition of bliss is:  “Bliss can be a state of profound satisfaction, happiness and joy, a constant state of mind, undisturbed by gain or loss”.  It is like being at peace for better or worse no matter where your path leads as you go winding along through life.  If you are feeling that you are off your path in life, or on the wrong path, or without a path at all, then maybe it’s time to consider whether this is all part of that path and part of your story.  You are alive and breathing, so then you may have always been on your path all along.

 

79- Direction:  I’ve seen someone completely change the direction of their entire life in an instant, while others seem to struggle and fight seemingly locked into a direction out of their control.  Some very wise people have talked about time as being nonlinear and not just moving in a straight and continuous line from past to future.  What lies within this element is the possibility that the perception of moving in the wrong direction may actually be just an illusion while you are just doing what you “should be doing” to get where you wish to go even though it seems so wrong at the time.  “You can’t get there from here” is an amusing saying thrown around in a movie or two yet it may contain a secret meaning about not necessarily sticking to a path that seems right.  In other words, sometimes mistakes, falls, problems, or even crisis or disasters can end up taking you in a direction that ends up being marvelous.  One movie that comes to mind is “Cast Away” starring Tom Hanks in which the ending of the story takes him in a completely unexpected direction leading him to a new life he could never have anticipated.  The point here is to consider that any direction may lead to the right place for you.  Even the worst-case scenario may have a happy ending.

 

80- Lost and Found: This is a rather simple item, maybe.  If you lost something in the past take a look at whether it can be replaced or found.  This may include looking up an old friend or buying a car just like your first car.  You may also feel like you are personally stuck in the Lost & Found bin of life.  Also, one of the last times I was at Esalen in Big Sur I brought several bags of goodies to place in the lost and found bin knowing that many of the volunteers living there check to see what clothing or other items might be there they might use.  I included some fun old Halloween things, like a plastic Viking helmet, and to later see someone wearing it while answering the Esalen phone lines was very fun, especially as most people had not idea I had put the things there.  If there is anything on your mind that you may have lost, from objects to opportunities, take a look at this element to see what you might do.

 

81- Beginning: It’s never too late to start all over again, or so the lyrics go to a Steppenwolf song.  Sometimes when things seem to be falling apart or ending one might not see the bright new beginning ahead, as mentioned in #79 Direction, and it may not even be possible to see what lies ahead.  Is the start of something big?  This may not be the time to think about the future just yet.  In times of trouble or while making major changes it can be vitally important to just take things moment by moment placing one foot in front of the other while not thinking too far ahead.  However, it can also be important to place things in perspective to have a feeling, notion, idea, or dream that no matter what is happening right now things will be better later on.  Hope can full one through even the toughest times.

 

82- Just for now:  Just for today and just in this moment it may be appropriate to set some worries or problems aside to just take care of one breath at a time.  No matter what larger picture or future goals or critical problems may exist, one might be able to just stop to smell the flowers or feel the hot springs water or taste the fresh coffee and listen to the birds, just for now.

 

83- Promise:  Making a promise to yourself can be very powerful, and telling this to someone else can make it even more real and energetically real.  Is there a promise you wish to make?  Have you written it down?  Is it secret?  Do you keep your promises to yourself and others, or are the personal ones sometimes pushed aside as you go?  This can be a big item.  Make a promise. 

 

84- Commitment:  Related to promise, making a commitment can change everything.  What you are truly committed to can be like starting an engine.  I’ll leave this one to that famous saying partly attributed to Goethe:

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back-- Concerning all acts of initiateve (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now." 

 

85- Personal Responsibility: This is a big one for me.  So often life circumstances can seem to take control of life leaving the illusion that one cannot accomplish something because of something or someone else in the way.  Personal statements like “I can’t do that because I am too busy doing other things” can become a powerful belief system hiding the fact that one has such power over ones life, mind, body, and circumstances day to day.  A vicious circle can be built up and cycles of events may seem impossible to escape.  What are you responsible for in your life?  What is totally out of your control?  Are you certain about this?

It may be true that we are responsible in all aspects of our lives, even the ones that seem so much out of our control.  This is a big one, and a planetary one, and an element related to all of humanity.  Are we responsible or is it up to “Them” to fix things?  Do we wait until “They” can make things better or is there some kind of individual personal responsibility we may be overlooking?  For the purpose of this exercise, take a look at what you may be wishing to change, such as your health or weight for example, to see if you have been irresponsible or whether you have been blaming things or situations for something you are really in control of.    

86- Things to forget:  This element is not always a matter of choice.  Memory is a funny thing, and the human mind quite complex.  Deciding that something is better forgotten may require a little work but going over a part of ones past to make sure it is either cleared up or finished may help in letting it go. 

- make up your own element. What's missing?  What would you add to the list?

_________________________

"On the precipice, we change"  - Klatu, The Day The Earth Stood Still

____________________________________

  Changing for a change...

By the early 80's I'd done every 'est' seminar there was, except for the big premiere course, The 6-Day Advanced Course in Calistoga.  Since I'd heard alot about it, including that people got haircut make-overs near the end of it, I decided to get a head start by doing this myself.  I shaved my beard off and got my hair cut before the course (photo at left).  I was quite surprised that the change or transformation was so much more than just about hair.  I felt different, even a little taller, and it was as though life seemed lighter or even more fun in the end, like some weight had been lifted off me. 

  coming into balance

After that period of my life there seemed to be more balance in my life, and this felt more in my control.  The light and the dark could exist together at once, without fighting each other, and one could compliment the other making me stronger, or something like this.  And I did not need to wear my dark side like a suit of armor any more...the mustache, beard, long hair, motorcycle, etc. could exist on the inside, or outside, as I pleased.  And the whole deal, the yin and the yang, could all be part of one integral holistic complete life and at the heart of the meaning of the word...Bliss.

_________________________

"Dreams are today's answers to tomorrows questions"   -  Edgar Cayce

 don't worry about getting lost.       

“We shall not cease from exploration.

And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place

for the first time”. 

          -  T. S. Eliot, Little Gidding, British (US-born) critic, dramatist & poet (1888 - 1965)

_____________thinking about it is actually working on it -

“Almost everything around us is determined by thought –

all the buildings, factories, farms, roads, schools, nations, science,

technology, religion – whatever you care to mention.  The whole ecological

 problem is due to thought, because we have thought that the world is there for

us to exploit, that it is infinite, and so no matter what we did, the pollution would

all get dissolved away.”

                                                                                                        - from "On Dialog", David Bohm

_______________________

 

 

There is no wrong way to do this.  Start again or move along.  The game is afoot.

Nothing that is can pause or stay; The moon will wax, the moon will wane, The mist and cloud will turn to rain, The rain to mist and cloud again, Tomorrow be today. ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance.  ~Harrison Ford

If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living.  - Gail Sheehy

It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad. - C. S. Lewis

"Krallosvierd" (above) is the name of a series of paintings and the name from a dream for the main feature of the large scale structure of The Universe from that dream.  It has no other origins or meaning I am currently aware of and it is subject to copy rights registered with The Library of Congress.

---------------------------------------- just for fun and inspiration:   selected quotes from Quotes to 'Re-Imagine' Schools for the 21st Century  http://www.leading-learning.co.nz/famous-quotes.html   'We need a metamorphosis of education - from the cocoon a butterfly should emerge. Improvement does not give us a butterfly only a faster caterpillar.' Learning to Learn www.learningtolearn.sa.edu.au 'No problem can be solved by the same consciousness that created it. We need to see the world anew.' Albert Einstein 'Insanity is doing the same things over and over again and expecting the different results' Albert Einstein. 'Some people would rather die than think'. Bertrand Russell 'If we always do what we've always done, we will get what we've always got.' Adam Urbanski 'One can never consent to creep when one feels the compulsion to soar'. Helen Keller 'Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions.' Oliver Wendell Holmes Jnr 'Ten geographers who think the world is flat will tend to reinforce each others errors….Only a sailor can set them straight'. John Ralston Saul, 'Voltaire's Bastards'. 'The faithful witness, like…Socrates, Voltaire, and Swift and Christ himself, is at his best when he is questioning and clarifying and avoiding the specialists obsession with solution. He betrays society when he is silent…He is true to himself and to people when his clarity causes disquiet.' John Ralston Saul 'Voltaire's Bastards' 'Do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail'. Ralph Waldo Emerson 'The world by and large has to be reinvented.' Charles Handy in 'Beyond Certainty'. 'The conduct of schools, based upon a new order of conception, is so much more difficult than is the management of schools which walk the beaten path.' John Dewey 'Much educational change is akin to rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic'. Anon Being on tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.' Karl 'The Great' Wallenda 'It is difficult to know what a fish talks about, but you can be sure it is not about water.' Old joke 'We are truly the fish in the water of industrial age assumptions' Peter Senge 'Culture is the underground stream of norms, values, beliefs, traditions, and rituals that builds up over time as people work together, solve problems, and confront challenges .This set of informal expectations and values shapes how people think, feel, and act in schools.' Deal and Patterson 98 'Some schools develop 'toxic' cultures which actively discourage efforts to improve teaching or student achievement.' Deal and Patterson 98 'Too many young people are being taught to give up their dreams before they have any experience attempting to pursue them'. Robert Fritz 'The Path of Least Resistance' 'It takes courage and skill to be unambiguous and clear.' Peter Senge 'A shared vision is not an idea...it is rather, a force in people's hearts...at its simplest level, a shared vision is the answer to the question 'What do we want to create?' Peter Senge 'We need a multiplicity of visions, dreams and prophecies - images of potential tomorrows.' Alvin Tofler ---------------

"It is theory that decides what can be observed".                                                            – Albert Einstein ____________________________________________________________________     "The possession of knowledge does not kill the sense of wonder and mystery. There is always more mystery"                                                     - Anais Nin ______________________________________

We live in a moment of history where change is so speeded up that we begin to see the present only when it is already disappearing.                                                                - R. D. Laing

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. - Maya Angelou

______________________ If you say, I'm for equal pay, that's a reform. But if you say. I'm a feminist, that's a transformation of society.                                     - Gloria Steinem

The only thing constant in this world is change. - India Arie

People who lack the clarity, courage, or determination to follow their own dreams will often find ways to discourage yours.  When you change for the better, the people around you will be inspired to change also....but only after doing their best to make you stop.  Live your truth and don't EVER stop. - Steve Maraboli

If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies.  ~Author Unknown My mixed media sculpture entitled "Betterfly" depicts an odd creature that has tried to make of itself a butterfly without really changing into one.  The plywood wings have springs and hinges and they are tied on with golden ropes, and it has a false face stitched on and fake antennae tied on.  The phony transformation leaves it a strange alien thing that cannot eat, walk or fly and it is doomed to a painful death.  Without real change it is only pretending.  Rather than surrendering to real change it faces death.

A radical inner transformation and rise to a new level of consciousness might be the only real hope we have in the current global crisis brought on by the dominance of the Western mechanistic paradigm.                                                                -  Stanislov Grof ---------------------------- a favorite Alan Watts lecture excerpt: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPdq0X10aoI&feature=related                                                                      For information, to make comments, etc., contact Matthew Watts at zoidzen@sbcglobal.net Thank you